• How do I Know Who my School Counselor is?

The students are assigned by alphabet. If your counselor is busy with another student, any one of our counselors will be more than happy to speak with you.

What do School Counselors Do?

One goal of school counseling is to discuss careers and future education plans with students.  College and career exploration instruction is provided during one on one annual meetings and group facilitation with students utilizing the computer program Naviance. A School Counselor’s role is to help inspire young students to strive for success and consider college and career opportunities. School Counselors also assist students to improve the quality of their educational lives. They help empower students to take ownership and responsibility for their lives through a process which generates understanding and teaches them tools to change unproductive and/or self-defeating behaviors. Many students expect that a counselor will tell them what to do. Counselors are trained to know about a wide range of concerns and experiences, but every student is unique and must make decisions they feel will be positive.  Counselors guide individuals through a process to help clarify the problem, and assess who owns the problem.

Counselors validate feelings and help them explore solutions. Counselors encourage students to consider different strategies and points of view. Students are encouraged to consider the impact that their behavior has on those around them. This process can be quite difficult for students, especially if it means acknowledging shortcomings.

Additionally, counselors hold group sessions on a variety of topics, handle crisis situations, mediate with teachers and parents, encourage academic improvement, and course select.

A skilled counselor is respectful, supportive, and, when appropriate, gently confrontational. While students are engaged with a counselor in the counseling process, they are also learning strategies that they can use to address future problems.

How Do I Deal With a Problem?

If it is with another student, try to have the students work things out face to face in a rational and communicative manner. If the students cannot resolve the issue, refer to a teacher or counselor. The help of a teacher or counselor sometimes makes the interaction smoother and the outcome more to their satisfaction. Do not wait for the problem to fester into a physical altercation or an unmanageable situation.

Common Concerns:

• Bullying
• Career
• Counseling
• Critical Thinking
• Decision Making
• Depression
• Drugs and Alcohol
• Harassment 
• Organizational Skills
• Problem Solving
• Relationship Violence
• Relationships
• Scheduling Questions
• Self Esteem
• Eating Disorders
• Internet Issues
• Mediation
• Stress
• Student Rights
• Study Skills
• Suicide
• Treatment
• Violence 

Counselors are often described as "nice people who listen to others and make them feel better." Counseling as a skill is often perceived as some sort of magical intervention.

When Should I Come to See My Counselor?

Whenever the student feels they cannot handle a situation on their own or they need further guidance in a particular topic, they can request a pass to see a counselor.   If a parent would like to meet with their counselor, please call to make an appointment, (631) 285-8410.

Student Workshops

Some students benefit from group learning. Participation in workshops will be by invitation, meeting once a week, for about 3-5 weeks. Our goal is to provide this experience for as many students as possible.  If, for some reason, you would not want your child to participate in one of our workshops, please call or send a note to your child’s counselor. 

We are considering similar round table discussions for parents, where we can share our knowledge about middle school children. There will also be classroom guidance activities which will be coordinated with classroom teachers.  

Discussions may include:

• Making Friends 
• Anger Management 
• Stress and Testing 
• Effective Communication Skills  
• Coping with Divorce 
• Adjusting to Life in Middle School 
• Organization 
• Appropriate Place and Time 
• Computer Etiquette 
• Harassment  
• Gangs and Diversity  
• Tolerance 
• Planning for a Career 
• Academic Planning 
• Attire and School Behavior  
• Organizational Skills & Decision Making  
• Goal Setting and Decision Making     
• Appropriate Behavior  
• Divorce  
• How to Deal with a Bully 
• Introduction to Guidance  

What Does the School Psychologist Do?

Our school psychologist, Ms. Varley coordinates all student IEPs, 504 plans and/or test modifications for our building. Psychological services are available for all students at Selden Middle School. The psychologist may provide crisis intervention, short term counseling, student evaluations and parent and teacher consultation. Referrals for private psychological and psychiatric treatment, individual group and family counseling and a host of rehabilitation options may be obtained from Ms. Varley. Specific information on disabilities, mental illnesses or disorders and literature related to teaching children with these difficulties are also available. The psychologist is involved with 504 meetings and participates in Student Support Team meetings as well as with teachers when requested. Subcommittees on Special Education are set up and chaired by the psychologist at the building.

Psychological testing is most often completed in anticipation of a Committee on Special Education (CSE) meeting for students suspected of having a disability. Testing for other reasons, i.e. Attention Deficit Disorder or Depression may also be administered on an as needed basis. Written parental permission is required for all psychological assessments and the due process for CSE reviews is quite specific. All students identified as having a disability must be reviewed annually for CSE and must be reevaluated every three years by the psychologist. Any changes to a student's Individualized Education Plan (IEP) must be done formally at a CSE meeting. These meetings may be scheduled throughout the year, and teachers/parents requesting a change in mainstreaming or modifications should request a meeting date.

What Does the School Social Workers Do?

Social work services are available to Selden Middle School students and their families in need. The social workers may provide crisis intervention, assessment, consultation and counseling when a students' performance is being negatively impacted by issues related to home and family. Such issues may include abuse, maltreatment, neglect, mental illness, suicide threat, substance abuse, catastrophic/chronic illness or death of a loved one, poverty, homelessness, domestic violence and divorce. The social workers provide case management services and function as liaison between students, their parents and the school community. Our Social Worker Ms. O'Leary is meeting with staff and parents to insure we are aware of the very latest information concerning family services and child safety regulations.

Social workers work closely with the issue of attendance. If students are absent or tardy beyond 'reasonable' amounts, the social workers will be in touch with parents, Child Protective Services and sometimes the courts.  

Our social worker Ms. O'Leary works closely with outside agencies to assist children to become the best they can be.