The days of swimming in the pool, playing until dark, going to bed late at night and sleeping in every morning are over. Now, the routine has to change. What can you do now to make going back to school a pleasure, not a nightmare of nagging and yelling, delaying and dawdling?

Starting school usually means two things to kids: First, a change from a slow summer pace to a getting-out-the-door-by-a certain time; and second, adjusting to a new classroom or school, teacher, friends and academic challenges. All parents want the morning routine to go smoothly, and their child equipped to manage any change presented without resistance or emotional upheaval.

Here are tips for getting kids ready for the new school year.

The Good Morning Routine  
The expectation for Middle School aged children is that they should move through the morning in a timely fashion. Unfortunately, some children need remedial lessons for getting out the door on time without resistance. The change in expectation may be difficult for a new 6th grader if they are use to having their parent play a large role in their morning routine.

When those first days arrive, think of yourself as the getting-out-the-door coach. You're right there helping with preparing the night before: showering, clothes, socks and shoes, putting supplies in each child's backpack and making lunch so they can be on time to walk out the door without too much worry. As the days go by, you'll back off and give only verbal and visual cues: "It's time to get your jacket on. You're running right on time!" By thoughtfully withdrawing your support, you give your children the opportunity to grasp hold of their responsibilities, they will learn to become more self sufficient and conscious of time and routine.

How do you set up this system to occur smoothly?

Tips

• Explain how life is going to change. For a new 6th grader, a week prior to the first day, offer a precise description of the morning routine. For example, "I'll wake you up at 6:30 am, you need to be dressed by 7:00 for breakfast. I expect you ready with your backpack, lunch and coat to walk out the door at 7:20 am." Young children need practice. For some, a practice run may help. They will be getting up earlier than ever before.

• Start getting kids in bed early. We find that students who get to bed between 9-10 pm are more successful in the morning classes.  Begin a week before school gets underway. You can't force them to sleep, but you can see they're snuggled in bed looking at books. Television, computer and video games only make enforcement more difficult.

• Get yourself up and ready first. If you work outside the home, this step is crucial. All goes more smoothly those first days when you're available to guide your children each step of the way.

• Give reminders. Most kids learn to move through the morning routine in a timely fashion. Others need reminders until high school graduation: "Son, I think you forgot to brush your teeth."

• State the obvious. "Your coat is on, now put on your shoes." Later, give one-word directives. Just say "shoes," or ask, "What are you supposed to do next?"

• Avoid yelling and harsh treatment. Negative ingredients can quickly become embedded in the routine. No parent likes sending their child out the door after a screaming match.

• Get them going 10 minutes earlier than you want them to be ready. If they stall you will still get them to school on time. Attendance is not a problem you want to worry about.

• Tack on an additional task. Once the morning schedule becomes routine, you can add an element: throwing dirty clothes in the hamper, making beds, putting together lunches.

Most children adjust to the new school year after a week, but if after a month your child resists getting up and going to school, it's time to evaluate why. Start by talking to your child's counselor.

Remember your goal: You want your children up and out the door on time, and to move securely through the school day so each can reach his/her academic potential. Ask yourself how you wish the school year to go, then ask yourself how you can help it happen.

Changing Schools
Most kids can weather changes from one grade to the next easily, but jumping from elementary school to middle school is traumatic. Starting a new school in a new town is even more traumatic. Here you walk a fine line. On the one hand, exude confidence. Give your child the impression that they are fully qualified to manage any challenge the new year presents. At the same time, prepare them for stumbling blocks they might encounter.

Tips

• Explain how school will be different this year from last year.  A tour was scheduled for last June to help cut down on anxiety and ambivalence. Reminding them they had the tour may make your first morning smoother getting them prepared . Reassure your son or daughter there are plenty of adults and students who will guide him/her through the day.

• State your expectations. Make it clear that school is children's work, it's important. Let them know they're supposed to follow school rules, complete assignments and homework.

• Talk about feelings. Ask your child if he/she's excited or worried. Don't discount those feelings or try to talk him out of them, but don't be controlled by them either. "I understand you're worried; starting school feels scary. Now it's time to get dressed, eat breakfast, then I'll walk you to the bus stop or drive you to school."

• Watch your own feelings. You may feel sad or fearful about your child going off to middle school. If your emotions are too obvious, however, you might spoil your child's enthusiasm for the first day.

• Exude confidence when saying good-bye. If Joe is one who might cry when dropped off, prepare yourself. Don't waste time talking him into a happy face. Just walk him to the door and say this matter-of-factly: "I know you're frightened; They will take good care of you." Plenty of adults will be onsite. Now turn and walk bravely back to your car. Don't look back. Most children separate easily and after a few days, the tears subside.

• Expect tears or misbehavior after school. Beginning school is stressful. Kids must adjust to lots of change, which takes work and concentration. When they get home, they let down. Every child needs down time without pressure to act perfectly.

• Ask how their day went. Listen carefully when they are telling you about difficulties. Try to offer suggestions of who they can talk to at school to and promote positives (i.e., how situations can improve, skills they might employ to get the results they are looking for).

• Get them involved in an extracurricular activity. Don't plan a heavy schedule with soccer, ballet and piano. Ease into one or two activities to discover just how much your child can manage.

• Consistently develop the school time schedule. Each routine--morning, after school, bedtime--can trip some families up. The more consistent you are at first, the quicker each routine is established. Plan for the morning routine first; getting everyone out the door with ease sets the tone for the entire day.

Best of luck!!!